Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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