2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
