think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
