Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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