so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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