Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All the doctor said was why
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
