dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
