I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I AM VODKA MAN
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
