Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
