So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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