i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
