There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
