I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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