So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm always down for nudity.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
