I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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