i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
