I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
