I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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