If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize