I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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