so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
