i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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