whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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