Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
