There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
