So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
