how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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