I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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