so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's the barista slut.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So vagazzling was a success
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