is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
