her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
