I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize