I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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