I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
