I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
