The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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