so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
