there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
