I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
