Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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