i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
