Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
