That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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