Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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