everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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