She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
