How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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