Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
