i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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