Already got asked if we're dating
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my liver is dry heaving
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Please don't give away my fajitas
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
