today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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