Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
