So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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