Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she peed on how many people?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
