remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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