Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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