just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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