he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
