Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
