i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
