Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
